Aint that the truth

"There's nothing like the deep breaths after laughing that hard. Nothing in the world like a sore stomach for the right reasons"
- Stephen Chbosky

An Unforgettable Amnesiac

A tribute

Thanks for the science H.M.

And so it comes to an end

In roughly 24 hours I'll be graduating from medical school - a place that seemed so distant only a number of years ago. There have been highlights, and lowlights, but mainly highlights that are bulleted below;


Year One

• A new city, a new home, a new challenge
• Little Miss Pushkin - an awesome, life long friend, made in the 7th week of first semester
• Topping the first exam - yeah, I still got it
• Falling in love with a little city called Venice and other European adventures
• Russian boy - and all the wonderwalls he brought my way
• Anatomy lessons and anatomy lessons spent at the favourite coffee shop
• Myer Melbourne - the job begins
• What's the story, morning glory?
• Getting drunk and not going out
• Desperately missing the old city, the old home, the old challenge, old friends
• The year of Optus Free Time

Year Two

• Where it finally felt like I was studying medicine
• Falling in love with Guyton - best medicine book to date
• When the Italian coffee shop stole all my hard earned money
• More time at Myer - 14 hour shifts in boxing day
• Little Miss Challah - with her amazing house, her quick wit and warmth
• Becoming even closer to the best buddy
• British Boy - part the good
• Jack Johnson, Xavier Rudd, Donovan Frankenreiter, Ben Harper
• Sandy
  
• The year of group projects - some good, mostly bad
• Study sessions on my bed room floor
• Kicking booty in the osce - thanks to little Miss Pushkin's father
• The wedding, to end all weddings, not mine
  
• Incubus

Year Three

• British Boy - part the bad
• Evil surgeon in the evil hospital - who endlessly made me question why I was doing this, whether I wanted to do this and almost had me quit. Almost.
• The biggest mistake of my life - choosing to do something when every fibre of my being screamed at me to turn and run the other way. I finally did, and am so thankful.
• Realising that I was so much better than the slag and the doormat
• Being completely cluless at hospital, not realising how much I didn't know and losing motivation
• Returning to the home city for Little Miss Lawyer's milestone birthday and craving so badly to just stay there
• Walking around a circular paradise with my first, uncomplicated love and realising just how far I had strayed
• Searching, desperately searching, for me
• Meeting MIB in the last days, realising that the mistake needed to be ended

Year Four

• Realising how amazing medicine could actually be - spending 20 hours at hospital to watch a baby being born, going home and returning 4 hours later to do it all again and never resenting it
• Meeting a doctor who truly made me believe that I had potential and who could make a difference
• The MIB saga - good and the bad
• Worring over exams, electives and other things beginning with e
• Endless conversations about eternity
• Several trips to home city, with friends who truly are home
• Death cab, Elbow, Kings, Jason, Colin, Wallflowers - the endless soundtrack to my life
• The wedding to end all weddings x3
• Gossip Girl - best show ever.
  
• India - majestic India - feeling my roots like never before
• Finding my self and throwing out the rubbish at the same time

Year Five

• Going rural and loving it. Encounters with Little Miss Sunshine and World's best resident
• Finding a new love - working under pressure in the Emergency Room
• Adventures in the true Asia - funny times, good people, great hits
• The birthday to end all birthdays and the return of MIB
• A cold winter in Melbourne, the warm arms of MIB and saying a sorrow/sweet goodbye/maybe sometime later to MIB
• Jason Mraz - best concert ever. Falling in love. Meeting my co-wife.
  
• England, baby!
• The Cambridge adventures - memories to be treasured for life, photos that are to be destroyed ASAP
• The girls of Cambridge - and making friends with the most unlikely of people
  
• Yale Boy - and truly realising just how unfair life can be sometime. Having faith and hoping for a better ending whilst carrying out life in as pragmatic a way as possible. Being even more puzzled by the universe
  
• The cheeky one with whom I may have had too much fun with. Cherishing phone conversations re: eye make up removal, sorting out one's life and realising just how awesome one is. Awesome.
• The West Wing - best show ever.
  
• Honours, baby!

So many more adventures, so many more lessons not outlined here. But this young woman is not the same as the bright eyed, naive 17 year old student who entered medical school hoping it would be something like the show Scrubs.

Words of wisdom

Forgive early, kiss slowly, love wholeheartedly, laugh loudly

Found

In my inbox this morning from an Eli a hop, skip and an ocean away via Pablo Neruda.

Every day you play with the light of the universe.
Subtle visitor, you arrive in the flower and the water.
You are more than this white head that I hold tightly
as a cluster of fruit, every day, between my hands.

You are like nobody since I love you.
Let me spread you out among yellow garlands.
Who writes your name in letters of smoke among the stars of the south?
Oh let me remember you as you were before you existed.

Suddenly the wind howls and bangs at my shut window.
The sky is a net crammed with shadowy fish.
Here all the winds let go sooner or later, all of them.
The rain takes off her clothes.

The birds go by, fleeing.
The wind. The wind.
I can contend only against the power of men.
The storm whirls dark leaves
and turns loose all the boats that were moored last night to the sky.

You are here. Oh, you do not run away.
You will answer me to the last cry.
Cling to me as though you were frightened.
Even so, at one time a strange shadow ran through your eyes.

Now, now too, little one, you bring me honeysuckle,
and even your breasts smell of it.
While the sad wind goes slaughtering butterflies
I love you, and my happiness bites the plum of your mouth.

How you must have suffered getting accustomed to me,
my savage, solitary soul, my name that sends them all running.
So many times we have seen the morning star burn, kissing our eyes,
and over our heads the gray light unwind in turning fans.

My words rained over you, stroking you.
A long time I have loved the sunned mother-of-pearl of your body.
I go so far as to think that you own the universe.
I will bring you happy flowers from the mountains, bluebells,
dark hazels, and rustic baskets of kisses.
I want
to do with you what spring does with the cherry trees.

Change has come to America

Amazing.

An excerpt from his speech via the NYT.

“If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible, who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time,” Mr. Obama says, “tonight is your answer.” “It’s a long time coming, but because of what we did on this day, at this defining moment, change has come to America,” he says.

He framed the journey of the civil rights struggle through the person of a 106-year-old woman in Georgia, Ann Nixon Cooper, who voted today.

She was “born just a generation past slavery” but for many years couldn’t vote for two reasons, he said, shifting the attention slightly off the matter of race: “because she was a woman and because of the color of her skin.”

The vivid historic symbols were hers: “She was there for the buses in Montgomery, the hoses in Birmingham, a bridge in Selma, and a preacher from Atlanta who told a people that ‘We shall overcome.’ Yes we can.”

He shifted the focus again so that her story was not solely about race.

A man touched down on the Moon, a wall came down in Berlin, a world was connected by our own science and imagination,” Mr. Obama said, conveying the passage of time.

And then this: “And this year, in this election, she touched her finger to a screen and cast her vote, because after 106 years in America, through the best of times and the darkest of hours, she knows how America can change.”

Amazing

True dat.

Delightful moments inside delightful moments

There's a saying that goes "people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones".

Ok, how about, nobody should throw stones?

My policy is "no stone throwing regardless of housing situation."

Don't do it.

There is one exception though - if you're trapped in a glass house, and you have a stone, throw it. What are you? An idiot?

So, really, it's only people in glass houses that should throw stones. (provided they are trapped in a house with a stone). It's a little longer, but you know....

I Heart (The) New York (Times)

I knew there was a reason why the NYT was one of my favourite publications and this further proves it.

Editorial - Barack Obama for President

Summer Stories

Tales that are best told over a cosmopolitan or two with my two favourite ladies, although they will be retold here once this occassional blogger finds the words simply because these are stories and adventures that are not to be forgotten, feelings that are to be relived over and over again. Not tonight though.

A quote for my future children

"Into each life some rain must fall, some days must be dark and dreary"

This man makes me believe in god

That someone can not only have so much raw talent but be able to convey it to every single person standing in the room has to have some sort of divinity controlling them.

Amazing.

Ecstatic!

Just got chills down my spine after watching this..........







Yes, I realise that this makes me a huge nerd but I can't help but get into the excitement of the olympics...

Ways to make me smile

To not post the most delicious looking photo of us from his birthday celebrations on book of face simply because I asked him not to.

Encounters with the semi-famous

At the HTTFYSLS (hospital that treats final year student like slaves) works a semi-famous WAG of a well known AFL player. My resident and I's conversation with HTTFYSLS' best dressed speech pathologist went something like this;

Her: Hey Dr Turtle (names may have been changed to protect identities), Monday morning again hey? What did you do over the weekend?

Dr Turtle: Oh nothing much, I have exams coming up in about 3 months so I spent most of the weekend studying. How about yourself?

Her: Nothing much either. On Friday I went to a movie premier, on Saturday I launched my fashion label and on Sunday I watched Chris play football.

Dr Turtle: (squeaking) oh okay, that sounds good, see you around.

As we walked away Dr Turtle put his hand on his forehead, turned a tomato shade of red and said "oh man, I must go into a corner and slowly die now - how pathetic is my life?!"

Me, the ever helpful medical student, tried to comfort him and said "don't worry Dr Turtle, I mean think of the life you are going to have being a hot shot surgeon, what does she have at the end of the day without Chris Brown?!"

Dr Turtle cracked one of his smiles, "ha! you know what, you just made me feel heaps better.......p.s. I am cooler than you"

-----

As I mentioned this story to the prodigal son after a hard day's work, he cracked a similar, knee-bend-worthy smile.

"You know what babe, this is why I love you"

You know, not a bad way to end an evening.

Not cool dude

If there's something that makes my blood boil on an otherwise pleasant Saturday brunch on my favourite road with the boy and his mates is one of his loudmouthed friends boasting about how much he drank last night.

Look, we get it, you have small penis.

Words of Wisdom

From the mouth of my 60-something distinguished renal consultant;

"You know, as Metallica say 'your lifestyle determines your deathstyle'...." when explaining to a patient why smoking isn't ideal when having a renal transplant.

Things I adore, Things I abhor (ed 2)

Things I adore

1. Impromptu Sunday afternoon serenades
Especially when they include; "Oh kiss me with your eyelashes tonight, or Eskimo your nose real close to mine. But you don't fold, you don't fade, you've got everything you need. Especially for me, sister you've got it all" and are sung by your very own boy.

2. Pretending to be at the Coldplay concert with your girls
Especially when the strangers sitting next to you get into the same groove

3. Counting down to many an adventures that lay ahead
Especially when it is only 2 weeks away

4. Raffaello
Especially when raffaelo un bello

5. Nurses at the red cross donating centre
Especially when they make you seem like a saint when really all your doing is your duty

Things I abhor

1. Boys who don't take rejection well
Especially when they lash out due to the rejection. Honestly, there's no use in wishing me ill or hoping I have a horrible life. The best way to get under my skin is to hot up, get a gorgeous girlfriend and show me what I'm missing out on. Although, a warning, I'm probably not going to feel like I'm missing out on much if things keep going the way they are

Lines that doctors should really try, but don't really seem to...

Lines that were created with many a glass of vino and laughter at DOC (my favourite Italian pizzeria outside of Venice) and were inspired by our carefully sculptured, amazingly sweet waiter.

• Hi, I'm an ophthalmologist - you have beautiful eyes
• Hi, I'm an anaesthetist - but I won't be putting you to sleep tonight, baby
• Hi, I'm an emergency physician - I know you're heart has stopped now after seeing me, but I can fix that
• Hi, I'm an obstetrician - let's make babies, baby
• Hi, I'm a cardiologist - I know how to make your heart race
• Hi, I'm a respiratory physician - I can take your breath away
• Hi, I'm a cardiothoracic surgeon - I'm in the business of mending broken hearts

Can't really complain

On Thursdays, I try to catch the boy training for his indoor cricket team. Due to the Hospital That Treats Final Year Students Like Slaves (HTTFYSLS), he has normally already been there an hour by the time I get there. When I arrive, I have a look around, to see if I can see him.

This Thursday, I spotted him across over at the nets doing his thing. I still feel a little shy as I walk towards him. He just beamed at me. I leant over and kissed him.

"Hello," he smiled.

"Eurgh, you're all sweaty!" I teased.

He kissed me again.

"Having a good workout?" I asked.

"Yeah," he sighed. "Done for the day, huh?"

"Yesssssss," I replied, like I would never have to go to HTTFYSLS when really I would be back there within 12 hours.

"Are you going to kick ass?" he asked, encouragingly.

"Of course," I smiled.

I pressed my body against his and looked at him.

He said, "when I saw you over there, I thought: I'm so lucky to have a woman like you, a lovely, sexy lady."

"Did you?" I smiled, basking in it.

"Yesssssss," he replied, a hint of oomph in his voice.

I held his gaze for a moment, then, "ok, see you after," I said, walking away.

"Bye," he said, wistfully.

I was smiling a huge smile as I went to sit down and savour some Picoult magic.

Sometimes, it really is bliss.

Before I run off into the cool winters night into those warm arms

There are certain colours which cause each other to shine brilliantly, which form a couple; which complete each other like man and woman.

From the same man that brought us "there are always flowers for those who want to see them"

Feeling

The road is long and seamless. Even over water. And though the tar is paved in blood of the last animals on earth, it is also a path paved in love and light, where every direction is just a roundabout way home.

I am closer to God than ever.
I am closer to you than ever.

Why it is all worth it

There are days, days like today, when I take a few quiet moments in that walk between my postbox and my front door to glace up at the heavens and say a sincere 'thank you' to the powers that be.

It's not often that I take the time to reflect and truly realise how lucky I am to be doing what I am doing. In fact, much of my day is spent complaining that as a doctor next year I will be paid much less than my counterparts in the commerce and law worlds. But really, it doesn't matter to me that I will be buying one less pair of Jimmy Choo shoes (read: zero pairs) because none of these other people get to spend their time truly taking care of people, and sometimes bringing them back from the dead.

Case in point; Ms. Loveliest Old Lady (names may have been changed to protect the real identity of the patients), a 95 year old woman brought to our team for some essential surgery. Although 95, Ms. LOL is sharp as a tack and has more life than most of the emo kids I see hanging around. She makes jokes when her high heparin levels make her bleed out of her IV tubes and on more than one occassion has noted my dress sense and refers to me to the nurses as the "one who looks like she should be on a catwalk". After a successful surgery, although she did give the anaethetist one hairy moment, Ms LOL was brought into the wards. The resident and I were having a discussion on IV fluids and PIG infusions whilst slowly sipping on our lattes (his treat, "you're a poor medical student in debt, you don't have $3 to spend on coffee!") we heard the emergency buzzer go off. As we ran into Ms LOL's room we heard "she's not breathing" and the resident and I instinctively acted. Whilst he held her airway open and adminstered oxygen, I was left to start compressions. A few minutes later the ICU, anaesthetic and med reg on call appeared and we were relieved of our duties. 4 more minutes later and Ms LOL was back from the dead and is doing fine. To have even played the smallest part in that really validates the past 5 years of hard work and has even lit up a small passion in critical care.

So whilst the others may be helping to make the rich even richer, I can't help but smile on the inside, even if I am sacrificing these beauties.

Eloquently put

"Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Those that truly love, have roots that grow towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom have fallen from their branches, they find that they are one tree and not two."

Things I adore, Things I abhor (ed. 1)

A weekly summary of the ups and downs....

Things I adore

1. Books on travel
Especially when planning an exotic adventure through the united kingdon, spain and portugal

2. Old friends calling out of the blue
Especially when he offers you free tickets to see Coldplay in Belgium in early October

3. Cute surgical residents
Especially when they are named Charlie

4. A cold winter's afternoon lying on the couch
Especially if your DVD of Amelie is playing and you have someone playing with your legs

5. Dinners
Especially when magically surprised by a friend you never knew you had

6. Just being
Especially when it is with the apple of my current adoration

Things I abhor

1. Lazy surgical nurses
Especially if they spend the entire surgery, sitting down and reading, and when politely asked
by the lovely scrub nurse to pick up something grunt and make it seem like they are doing the
world's biggest favour. It's your job.

2. Slow readers
Especially if you are reading a book called "Mr Darcy takes a wife". There is a reason why
Jane Austen herself didn't write a sequel.

3. Tools
Especially during medical interviews when they say wanky things like "I have been fortunate
enough to carry out a number of elective terms in my time, one with Professor XYZ from
which I have two papers - currently in press". Argh.

4. Time flying far too fast
Especially when having a good time

5. Boys who think they can get me
Especially when they are not willing to put any effort (ie chase) into it.

My very own Cinderella moment

Far too precious to even speak about on here. Am truly living la dolce vita.

Weekend Bliss

Days like these make this lovely lady thankful for the company she keeps and has her looking forward to the working week ahead.

The weekend began, with this blogger, acting as a WAG (wives and girlfriends). Saturday morning, 11 keen lads inspired by the likes of Brian Lara and Chris Gayle (coolest man alive) - running, catching and hitting with a purpose, whilst this familiar group of ladies sipped latte's and occasionally glanced up to keep up with the goings on. The discussion was fervent, ranging from the latest girlfriend to make the transition to soon-to-be-wife (and her flawless Cartier ring) to the gentleman that only wanted to dance with his beloved at the most inappropriate times. Laughs were shared as cold Saturday mornings of past were reminisced upon whilst we clutched our lattes for warmth. The prodigal son, having made a silly shot, soon found himself at the mercy of the WAGs, being interrogated as to why one of their beloved women had been missing for so long. Quick as ever, prodigal son replied "even we make mistakes" and planted a kiss that made every surrounding woman swoon and clutch their heart.

A lost game, a quick lunch and many goodbyes later we found ourselves curled up on the couch, channel surfing as the prodigal son's older brother and younger sister sat on the floor below us vigorously making sense of the world of O&G and intellecutal property respectively. Not finding anything that piqued our interest we went for a walk around the neighbourhood. Walking around the park, we were the pairing that everyone wants to be a part of, that earthy, innocent, all consuming feeling that must be experienced to be believed. The heavens, however, decided to open soon after and we found ourselves drenched and running for shelter. A few beers in front of the open fire was the perfect cure for what was ailing us as we found ourselves snuggling and falling into a blissful nap in each others arms.

Sunday rolled around, and I found myself, with none other than Miss Fabulous, the one lady with whom all personal jokes are shared with. Malaysian cuisine, Chinese tea and unlimited time had us dissecting the events of the past few weeks. More laughs and more reasons to count ourselves lucky later we found ourselves saying goodbye whilst making plans for the week ahead. Sunday evening saw the return of Miss Adventurer back to my life - a perfect finish for a near perfect weekend.

Here's to more weekends, falling more in love.

Amazing photography

Cannot wait to check out this exhibition in person, when in London later on in the year.

Love

Be calm, only by a calm consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together.

Be calm - love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you - you - you - my life - my all.

Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.

Ever thine
Ever mine
Ever ours

Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.

Now join your hands, and with your hands your hearts.

I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you not only for what you have made for yourself, but for what you are making of me. I love you for the part of me you are bringing out.

Return of the prodigal son

A few yesterdays ago, this occasional blogger, found herself blowing out one extra candle on the cupcake of her life. The night began like all legendary nights, with my arms linked with the arms of two fabulous ladies. New York City, Zac Posen, Oscar De La Renta, Manolo Blahnik, Jimmy Choo, Louis Vuitton, Ralph Lauren, Christian Louboutin and four fabulous ladies later we found ourselves in a downtown bar sipping on our own version of the Cosmo.

As the night wore on friends and lovers who have shared in other candle blowing moments dropped by to share a laugh and a little of their love. The downtown bar, hip as it was, was soon forgotten for more lavish settings. A few more drinks, a few more loved ones and a few more Justin Timberlake soaked dances.........and he appeared. The one who had occupied my time, and more importantly my mind through the past year in the flesh, in all his glory. A smile, a soft kiss and a "happy birthday, gorgeous" later, this lady found her knees bending, her heart flipping and her soul swooning for more.

Slowly, or not so slowly, working through the table of designated birthday drinks, this lover found herself spinning, dancing, giggling and affectionate. Before sense or sensibility could prevail our arms were linked, bodies together, dancing, lost in one anothers eyes, lips, cheeks. Hands linked we said our polite goodbyes to the dancing hoards and ventured out into the crisp, cool winter night. Both of us too afraid to say a word, too afraid to spoil the moment, walked side by side occasionally stopping to share a kiss, share our breath, share our souls.

A quick swipe of the credit card, a few grabs, pulls and cheeky little words and we found ourselves in the exact same position we were in last year. Only this time, each of us vowing to keep ourselves from making the same mistakes, the same stupid decisions that kept us apart. A years worth of memories and adventures kept us going until the hoots and grunts of the world below us got louder signalling that perhaps it was time for us to join them.

In many ways, the prodigal son, is the epitome of "Manhattan Boy" who is paraded around to the friends and loved ones as an ideal soul mate. He is the knee-bending, soul swooning, mirror to my ways. The apotheosis of a son-in-law and further attractive with his puzzled looks when something like Langerhans cell histiocytosis is mentioned. And yet, I can't help but wonder, do we fall into this because we somewhat fill each others perception of an ideal partner?

This is the first time where I feel as if I don't have to fight for something. And it makes absolutely no sense as the union is filled with passion and wanting and the promise of things to come, but a little nagging voice on the inside keeps telling me that I am settling simply because I should be happy with the return of the prodigal son.

Fortunately I don't have all the answers, but I do have time with its infinitely wise answers. But for the time being, I feel as if we are occupying the right part of the universe.

Venetian Elopement

Because when it rains, it pours

After almost a year of self imposed exile, yours truly took tiny trepid steps into the world of single men, romance and all that jazz. What follows is the tale of three charming, eligible bachelors each of whom have captured a part of my heart.

Gentleman One:
Gentleman One and I have been pursuing the same interests for the past 4.5 years without actually having ever met each other. On our first encounter we had each immediately decided that this was not something worth pursuing for our own sensible reasons. However, late night conversations, Jason Mraz melodies, 9 crimes, vodka infused nights and one lingering kiss on the lips changed all of that forever. Gentleman One and I shared the experience of trainwrecks, that one person that we each let into our fortress only to have them violently mess with the tranquility and leave us with crumbled walls and lost hope. Gentleman One and I shared nights of endless conversation reliving our best and worst moments, we spoke for hours about our favourite tunes when really we were speaking about our darkest secrets. We spent hours simply touching, holding hands, gently kissing whilst tv shows, movies, the world went on in the background. We knew this could not extend beyond the small world we had created, a world that was on borrowed time. We could not exist in real life.

Gentleman Two
Gentleman Two and I became close as I was teasing him about chasing the tail of another woman. I could say many words about Gentleman Two, but above and beyond all he is a good man. Good of heart and soul, the type of man that all men strive to be, the type of man that father's pray that their daughters will spend the rest of their lives with, the type of man who has a seat reserved for him at the round table. Gentleman Two worked his way into my heart slowly, his witty remarks (often aimed at me) seemed endearing and no matter what he went out of his way to make sure that I was pleased. Afternoons sharing moist chocolate cake at Secret Recipe, after work runs at the banana fritters store, arguments with the DVD store so that I may enjoy afternoons watching a mother and daughter speak at paces that are humanly impossible. This is the type of man I see marrying. His photograph continues to make my heart flutter.

Gentleman Three
Gentleman Three made me feel as if I was spending afternoons and nights with Chris Gayle (a.k.a the coolest man alive). He reconnected me to my childhood in so many ways and reconnected me to home. His sense of humour, Commonwealthian spunk and quick hands left me gasping for breath from laughter/other emotions that I was experiencing. He made me utter "anytime, anyplace, anyway" under my breath more times than what I was comfortable with. Dancing to sway was one of the most breathtaking moments of my life. Nights spent flirting with this man and the one soulful message he has left will bring a surprising smile to my face in moments of gloom.

And perhaps what is most surprising is that even though each of these men has a piece of my heart, it is the very first time where giving away my heart to someone hasn't caused me any pain. Maybe it is finally time for this fabulous lady to step out there and dip her toes into the water once more.

An encounter with Dr Charisma

Saturday morning resume building provided the perfect opportunity to daydream whilst listening to a lecture about leadership in medicine by the man himself. As Dr Charisma had us in the palms of his manly, manly hands, I wondered, is charisma the single most attractive quality in a man?

If I were to write a medical history of Dr Charisma it would go something like this;

30 something prominent cardiothoracic surgeon presents to conference to give lecture re: leadership.

HOPC:

• Traits of charisma began to appear in early medical school when pt joined medical society
• Symptoms of charisma increasing throughout life with appointments on the national governing body of medicine and many a tv appearance
• States that charisma is present throughout the day but increases when sense of humour shines through, or when patient simply smiles
• No evidence of charisma decreasing but assumed that pt. would not be so charismatic after a long day of troublesome pediatric cardiothoracic surgery
• NB: WORKS with CHILDREN - swoon, swoon, swoon

PMhx:

• Prior to charisma episodes was inflicted by kindness and determination
• No other medical problems
• No regular medications
• NKDA

Shx:

• Non-smoker
• Occasional drinker (when charming others)
• Married (sigh)

Fhx:

• Assumed that charisma runs through family, surely this amount of charisma must be genetic

O/E:

• Well built, handsome man with devastatingly killer smile emanating charisma
• Intelligence ++
• Sense of humour +++
• Engaging audience +++++++
• Ralph Lauren supported smell ++
• Kindness +++
• Able to engage in self-depreciating humour +++
• Ability to make all women (and some straight men) swoon +++
• Charisma +++ (Level: Martin Luther King charisma)

Ddx:

• Charisma
• ? just charm to get the girls (probably not as already married, sigh)

Mx:

• Reassure pt that charisma is a wonderful quality not to be feared
• Advise pt to talk to more people so that they too may enjoy the charisma and know what to look for when trying to find own charismatic man.

And how was I inspired by Dr Charisma? Well I spent the evening basking in the glory of Dr Charisma-to-be (i.e. the interstate, medical student version, who has appeared on popular breakfast television), with a few drinks, some good company and a few other details that won't be mentioned as there shall be no kissing and telling.

Breakfast with Little Miss Sunshine

Once upon a cloudy Melbourne morning, two ladies decided it was high time that they finally caught up and explored the cafe that has been voted 'Melbourne's best breakfast' two years in a row.

Replete Providore can be found quietly nestled in between the hustle and bustle of Barker and Glenferrie roads. Surrounded by one of Melbourne's notoriously snobby schools, it doesn't take much to feel intimidated. However, as soon as one walks through the inviting red doors and makes oneself comfortable on one of the custom made red and black benches all fears are allayed. Most of the folk at the cafe look as if they have just wandered down to their local and the atmosphere is filled with light chatter and smell of delicious things to come.

Little Miss Sunshine having visited previously stuck to the tried and tested and ordered the corn fritters with crispy Istra bacon, tomato and avocado salsa, replete chutney and sour cream. I, also a conservative when it comes to food, adventured out with the ricotta hotcakes with lemon curd and strawberries.

The conversation flowed easily, after all we had much med couple gossip to catch up on. Furthermore, we soon ascertained that we had a not-so-fond-of-girl in common and shared examples to reinforce our not-so-fondness. More customers poured in with the stressed out waitress having to take them out to the back. As the smells kept wafting, the rumblings of two hungry stomachs overwhelmed the conversation.

What arrived was not a dissapointment:

It may have even tasted better than it looked. The tangy flavours of the cheese combining with the sweetness of the strawberry and smoothness of the lemon curd - absolutely divine.

More food was devoured as outside the weather turned from cloudy, to rainy, to cloudy to rainy again. Coffee was sipped and we talked until we realised that we had spent close to four hours continuously chatting in the cafe. Seeing dozens of patrons lined outside just waiting for a table we mutually concluded that it was time to leave.

So, on a public holiday Monday morning two fabulous ladies stepped outside into the sunshine, content that both their minds and stomachs were brimming with joy.

Clearing out the trash

As I sat tidying my study, an act that should have occurred months ago, I couldn't help but wonder; is it about time that I cleaned out the trash in my life too?

From the outside it seems that there is very little rubbish in my life - a final year medical student at such a young age guaranteed of a job and endless possibilities, several chances to travel this year alone and meetings with friends and family where the laughter can still be heard long after everyone has gone home. Yet, what many fail to see is the nagging doubts, the insecurities that litter my existence and threaten to overwhelm the surrounding beauty.

Take Mr Investment Banker (MIB) for example, a man with whom I had an enthralling whirlwind romance almost a year ago but who continues to be that person in my head that I continue to tell my stories to. Why I don't have the courage to tell him the stories in real life is anyone's guess. Things with MIB ended due to circumstance rather than a falling out, we remained friends and continued to play the games that only two twenty-something singles can play. Eventually, tired of the lack of progression and the lure of exotic lands I neglected to answer his last flirty Facebook message. However, since coming back from my travels my mind has not let me forget about him, yet my pride and everything I have learnt from 'He's Just Not That Into You' prevent me from making that first fearful move. Instead I have been feeding my cravings by regularly checking his profile and obsessing over why his 'single' status has been removed from it. It doesn't take 5 years of medical school to know that this is unhealthy.

So today I actively decided to push this overwhelming fear of rejection out of my life by inviting him to a charity event that I happen to be organising. And whilst in theory the fear should be well on the way of being lost somewhere in the big, wide universe, I sit here obsessively wonderin what is going to happen. So much so that I felt the need to start a blog and vent. Baby steps, right?