Because when it rains, it pours

After almost a year of self imposed exile, yours truly took tiny trepid steps into the world of single men, romance and all that jazz. What follows is the tale of three charming, eligible bachelors each of whom have captured a part of my heart.

Gentleman One:
Gentleman One and I have been pursuing the same interests for the past 4.5 years without actually having ever met each other. On our first encounter we had each immediately decided that this was not something worth pursuing for our own sensible reasons. However, late night conversations, Jason Mraz melodies, 9 crimes, vodka infused nights and one lingering kiss on the lips changed all of that forever. Gentleman One and I shared the experience of trainwrecks, that one person that we each let into our fortress only to have them violently mess with the tranquility and leave us with crumbled walls and lost hope. Gentleman One and I shared nights of endless conversation reliving our best and worst moments, we spoke for hours about our favourite tunes when really we were speaking about our darkest secrets. We spent hours simply touching, holding hands, gently kissing whilst tv shows, movies, the world went on in the background. We knew this could not extend beyond the small world we had created, a world that was on borrowed time. We could not exist in real life.

Gentleman Two
Gentleman Two and I became close as I was teasing him about chasing the tail of another woman. I could say many words about Gentleman Two, but above and beyond all he is a good man. Good of heart and soul, the type of man that all men strive to be, the type of man that father's pray that their daughters will spend the rest of their lives with, the type of man who has a seat reserved for him at the round table. Gentleman Two worked his way into my heart slowly, his witty remarks (often aimed at me) seemed endearing and no matter what he went out of his way to make sure that I was pleased. Afternoons sharing moist chocolate cake at Secret Recipe, after work runs at the banana fritters store, arguments with the DVD store so that I may enjoy afternoons watching a mother and daughter speak at paces that are humanly impossible. This is the type of man I see marrying. His photograph continues to make my heart flutter.

Gentleman Three
Gentleman Three made me feel as if I was spending afternoons and nights with Chris Gayle (a.k.a the coolest man alive). He reconnected me to my childhood in so many ways and reconnected me to home. His sense of humour, Commonwealthian spunk and quick hands left me gasping for breath from laughter/other emotions that I was experiencing. He made me utter "anytime, anyplace, anyway" under my breath more times than what I was comfortable with. Dancing to sway was one of the most breathtaking moments of my life. Nights spent flirting with this man and the one soulful message he has left will bring a surprising smile to my face in moments of gloom.

And perhaps what is most surprising is that even though each of these men has a piece of my heart, it is the very first time where giving away my heart to someone hasn't caused me any pain. Maybe it is finally time for this fabulous lady to step out there and dip her toes into the water once more.

An encounter with Dr Charisma

Saturday morning resume building provided the perfect opportunity to daydream whilst listening to a lecture about leadership in medicine by the man himself. As Dr Charisma had us in the palms of his manly, manly hands, I wondered, is charisma the single most attractive quality in a man?

If I were to write a medical history of Dr Charisma it would go something like this;

30 something prominent cardiothoracic surgeon presents to conference to give lecture re: leadership.

HOPC:

• Traits of charisma began to appear in early medical school when pt joined medical society
• Symptoms of charisma increasing throughout life with appointments on the national governing body of medicine and many a tv appearance
• States that charisma is present throughout the day but increases when sense of humour shines through, or when patient simply smiles
• No evidence of charisma decreasing but assumed that pt. would not be so charismatic after a long day of troublesome pediatric cardiothoracic surgery
• NB: WORKS with CHILDREN - swoon, swoon, swoon

PMhx:

• Prior to charisma episodes was inflicted by kindness and determination
• No other medical problems
• No regular medications
• NKDA

Shx:

• Non-smoker
• Occasional drinker (when charming others)
• Married (sigh)

Fhx:

• Assumed that charisma runs through family, surely this amount of charisma must be genetic

O/E:

• Well built, handsome man with devastatingly killer smile emanating charisma
• Intelligence ++
• Sense of humour +++
• Engaging audience +++++++
• Ralph Lauren supported smell ++
• Kindness +++
• Able to engage in self-depreciating humour +++
• Ability to make all women (and some straight men) swoon +++
• Charisma +++ (Level: Martin Luther King charisma)

Ddx:

• Charisma
• ? just charm to get the girls (probably not as already married, sigh)

Mx:

• Reassure pt that charisma is a wonderful quality not to be feared
• Advise pt to talk to more people so that they too may enjoy the charisma and know what to look for when trying to find own charismatic man.

And how was I inspired by Dr Charisma? Well I spent the evening basking in the glory of Dr Charisma-to-be (i.e. the interstate, medical student version, who has appeared on popular breakfast television), with a few drinks, some good company and a few other details that won't be mentioned as there shall be no kissing and telling.

Breakfast with Little Miss Sunshine

Once upon a cloudy Melbourne morning, two ladies decided it was high time that they finally caught up and explored the cafe that has been voted 'Melbourne's best breakfast' two years in a row.

Replete Providore can be found quietly nestled in between the hustle and bustle of Barker and Glenferrie roads. Surrounded by one of Melbourne's notoriously snobby schools, it doesn't take much to feel intimidated. However, as soon as one walks through the inviting red doors and makes oneself comfortable on one of the custom made red and black benches all fears are allayed. Most of the folk at the cafe look as if they have just wandered down to their local and the atmosphere is filled with light chatter and smell of delicious things to come.

Little Miss Sunshine having visited previously stuck to the tried and tested and ordered the corn fritters with crispy Istra bacon, tomato and avocado salsa, replete chutney and sour cream. I, also a conservative when it comes to food, adventured out with the ricotta hotcakes with lemon curd and strawberries.

The conversation flowed easily, after all we had much med couple gossip to catch up on. Furthermore, we soon ascertained that we had a not-so-fond-of-girl in common and shared examples to reinforce our not-so-fondness. More customers poured in with the stressed out waitress having to take them out to the back. As the smells kept wafting, the rumblings of two hungry stomachs overwhelmed the conversation.

What arrived was not a dissapointment:

It may have even tasted better than it looked. The tangy flavours of the cheese combining with the sweetness of the strawberry and smoothness of the lemon curd - absolutely divine.

More food was devoured as outside the weather turned from cloudy, to rainy, to cloudy to rainy again. Coffee was sipped and we talked until we realised that we had spent close to four hours continuously chatting in the cafe. Seeing dozens of patrons lined outside just waiting for a table we mutually concluded that it was time to leave.

So, on a public holiday Monday morning two fabulous ladies stepped outside into the sunshine, content that both their minds and stomachs were brimming with joy.

Clearing out the trash

As I sat tidying my study, an act that should have occurred months ago, I couldn't help but wonder; is it about time that I cleaned out the trash in my life too?

From the outside it seems that there is very little rubbish in my life - a final year medical student at such a young age guaranteed of a job and endless possibilities, several chances to travel this year alone and meetings with friends and family where the laughter can still be heard long after everyone has gone home. Yet, what many fail to see is the nagging doubts, the insecurities that litter my existence and threaten to overwhelm the surrounding beauty.

Take Mr Investment Banker (MIB) for example, a man with whom I had an enthralling whirlwind romance almost a year ago but who continues to be that person in my head that I continue to tell my stories to. Why I don't have the courage to tell him the stories in real life is anyone's guess. Things with MIB ended due to circumstance rather than a falling out, we remained friends and continued to play the games that only two twenty-something singles can play. Eventually, tired of the lack of progression and the lure of exotic lands I neglected to answer his last flirty Facebook message. However, since coming back from my travels my mind has not let me forget about him, yet my pride and everything I have learnt from 'He's Just Not That Into You' prevent me from making that first fearful move. Instead I have been feeding my cravings by regularly checking his profile and obsessing over why his 'single' status has been removed from it. It doesn't take 5 years of medical school to know that this is unhealthy.

So today I actively decided to push this overwhelming fear of rejection out of my life by inviting him to a charity event that I happen to be organising. And whilst in theory the fear should be well on the way of being lost somewhere in the big, wide universe, I sit here obsessively wonderin what is going to happen. So much so that I felt the need to start a blog and vent. Baby steps, right?